wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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