well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
