I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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