If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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