it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
