so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize