That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
