I bet he comes in French.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
