every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
handjob tips. give me some.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Randomize
