You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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