Someone shit on the floor
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
