Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
