I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
