Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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