Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
