Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
