Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
