My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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