hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
