Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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