i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
