How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
