all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
