OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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