i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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