It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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