The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
