Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
