I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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