It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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