Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
