You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
