Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
