i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
