cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
