it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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