Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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