Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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