If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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