I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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