Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The power of my boobs compel you
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize