I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
