Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
