You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
