It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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