you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she looked like the before picture.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
