I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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