Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
