its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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