I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
