wrigley field is MILF paradise
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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