The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
