i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
