i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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