Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
