Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm always down for nudity.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
