Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
