Pants 0. Shit 1.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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