Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
