I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
