Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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