your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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