what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
