is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
