I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
