He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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